A Cautionary Tale

The Incident:

There I was, on a bright and sunny Sunday afternoon, performing routine record cleaning duties (when I probably should have been outside playing stickball or frolicking with a puppy or something), and as I get to work on the final disc, I start to think: tee-hee I like that funny parrot on this label. Then I realize that none of the records I picked out to clean were on the Parrot Records label ... in fact, I don't think I've ever owned a record on the Parrot label...

 

Continuing to spread the cleaning solution, I start scanning the text on the label... Egads man, you're cleaning an Engelbert Humperdinck album!

This can only mean that a wanted record which I thought I bought has been displaced by this perennial thrift bin dweller that is of no use to me. Quickly suppressing the sinking feeling that begins to take hold, I remain calm, and like a mindless automaton, finish cleaning it—though it left me feeling somewhat like the hapless sparrow caring for a cuckoo bird's egg, covertly deposited in its nest. 

The Investigation:

After looking through the stack of covers that were in the other room, I found that the interloper had been concealed inside this Bee Gees jacket.

Bee Gees - Peace of Mind

"Circa '64 Australian Sessions"

1978 Pickwick Records BAN-90041

Taking a closer look, I now notice some clues, which, had I been more alert during my pre-purchase inspection, may have raised a red flag or two...

Sure, in hindsight, it might be obvious what is going on here, but if you only give it a cursory glance (as one is apt to do in the heat of a fast-paced thrift-binge), it just sort of looks like a former owner has signed their name on the front cover, as people often do (sigh). And even if I had read the name, well, there must be thousands of Engelberts out there who own Bee Gees records, right? And the scribble marks could have simply been a testament to this Engelbert's changing tastes and was a way of expressing his newfound dislike of the Bee Gees. 

Take Heed:

Lame excuses for my own carelessness aside, I write these words now, as a simple cautionary tale to remind you all (and myself), to be ever vigilant in checking the labels on those thrift store records to make sure the covers and discs definitely match up. Usually, it is the records with missing inner sleeves you really have to watch out for, but this disc had been stowed away inside a good condition inner sleeve that was placed neatly inside of the jacket; lulling me into a false sense of security, and I got sloppy. Don't let this happen to you.

It Gets Worse:

After I started on this article, I remembered there was another, similar LP of early Bee Gees material sitting on the shelf that probably came from the same lot. I go have a look at it to find...

Suspicion confirmed: a second defaced Bee Gees cover,
complete with Engelbert Humperdinck stowaway.

Now that's just pure evil! What kind of maniac repeatedly does something like this to protect scuffed-up Engelbert Humperdinck vinyl? I wonder if the Bee Gees LPs were taken out and discarded just to make room for the E.H. discs? I realize the Bee Gees are no strangers to the thrift bins, and not everone's cup of tea either, but in my book, they deserve better than this. What next, using Jethro Tull covers to store your precious, scratchy, Sing Along with Mitch LPs? 


I still like that funny parrot, anyway. I only wish it was attached to something in the Parrot discography I might have liked better, such as The Zombies or Them.